Sunday, April 14, 2013

Kabhi Kabhie...

Yash Chopra's Kabhi Kabhie is the ultimate poetic experience for me as far as nineteen seventies' Hindi cinema is concerned. Of course Pakeezah is also from the seventies and a number of other Gulzar movies would qualify as well, but this one never fails to captivate me even when I watch it now, almost forty years after its release. 

As much as the angry young man persona of Amitabh Bachchan delighted me as a child, his brooding, yearning poetic avataar haunts me as an adult even more. And as much as I love the poetry of Main Pal Do Pal Ka Shaayar Hoon and the happy version of Kabhi Kabhie, the version that Amitabh recites when he meets his long-lost college sweetheart is the one that I find absolutely arresting. The sense of desolation and emptiness that this verse conveys in such an understated manner is a ghazal at its finest for me.

When I found myself having moments like this more often than ever -- perhaps symptoms of midlife crisis -- I started paying more attention to the words in this poem. And as I looked up meanings of the Urdu words that I did not know, the verse became even more beautiful. I am no Urdu expert, but here's my attempt at decoding the lyrics for those of you who might have been stumped due to some of the Urdu words also. This search led me to rediscover Sahir Ludhianvi, the talented lyricist behind these verses, but more on that in a future post.

So first, here's a quick listing of the words that I did not fully understand previously:
  • शादाब = green, हरा-भरा
  • शुआ = ray of sun, ray of light
  • जुस्तजू = quest, search
  • सुराग = sign
  • नफ़स = breath, breathing 
And now look up these words in the full verse below:

कभी कभी मेरे दिल में ख़याल आता हैं,
की ज़िन्दगी तेरी जुल्फों की नर्म छाओं में गुज़रने पाती, 
तो शादाब हो भी सकती थी
ये रंज-ओ-गम की स्याही जो दिल पे छाई है,
तेरी नज़र की शुआओं में खो भी सकती थी
मगर ये हो न सका...
मगर ये हो न सका, और अब ये आलम है -- 

की तू नहीं, तेरा गम, तेरी जुस्तजू भी नहीं,  
गुज़र रही है ज़िन्दगी ऐसे,
की इसे किसीके सहारे की आरजू भी नहीं

न कोई राह, न मंज़िल, न रौशनी का सुराग, 
भटक रही है अंधेरों में ज़िन्दगी मेरी
इन्ही अंधेरों में रह जाऊंगा कभी खोकर,
मैं जानता हूँ मेरी हमनफ़ज़,
मगर यूँही...

कभी कभी मेरे दिल में ख़याल आता हैं...
कभी कभी मेरे दिल में ख़याल आता हैं

Watch Amitabh render this verse so beautifully in this clip from Kabhi Kabhie. Fast forward to 2:00 if you are impatient and want to cut straight to the chase, but I recommend you watch the entire scene; it's only about 3 minutes long.  

Monday, March 19, 2012

When Shammi Kapoor Wrote Back...


It is Shashi Kapoor's birthday today, March 18, and it reminds me of a time when I had just discovered the official Kapoor family website. If you love Hindi cinema, you gotta like at least one Kapoor depending on when you grew up! In the 70's, Raj, Shashi, and even Randhir were still delivering hits, and Rishi Kapoor was the rising star. The Sunday TV showed reruns of many Prithviraj Kapoor movies in the 80's, so there were three generations of Kapoors that occupy a place of nostalgia for me. Of course if I had to pick one favorite, it has to be Shashi Kapoor for me, and especially in the movies where he was paired with Amitabh Bachchan: Deewar, Trishul, Kabhi Kabhie and so on, and one that I found especially delightful as a kid -- Do Aur Do Paanch. 

In any case, I learned that Shammi Kapoor had personally developed the Kapoor family website and was actively maintaining it. I decided to email him from the link on his site to tell him how much I liked the site. Here's what I wrote -- this was back in 2005:
Dear Shammi-ji,
I visited your website for the first time today, and fell absolutely in love with it! I am just another Indian guy who loves the Kapoor family and revels in so much of the celluloid nostalgia that the Kapoors are an integral part of – thank god for your great family and for what you have done for the Indian cinema.
I am someone who grew up in the 70’s and in that sense, you were a little before my time Shammi-ji, but I can tell you that even today my children who are 5 and 6 enjoy so many of your songs on the DVD collection that I have at home. My generation grew up more on Rishi Kapoor, but Shashi Kapoor is the one who my family can’t have enough of even today – primarily his films with Amitabh Bachchan, but just about anything Shashi Kapoor at all!
Thanks to you and your family for everything again. I am not sure how much you travel today, but if you or Shashi-ji ever visit the US in the near future, I would be happy to host you at our home, and would feel privileged for the opportunity of meeting with you and talking with you in person. 
On behalf of my family, here’s wishing you and your family the best that life has to offer, always and forever!
It's a little bit corny, I admit. And tactless. Because there I am writing to Shammi that I like Rishi and Shashi better! But anyway, that's what I wrote and sent.

Imagine my surprise and delight the next day, when I actually received a response from Shammi Kapoor! And I do believe that it was Shammi Kapoor himself replying and not some secretary or PR person because it was well publicized that he was passionate about the Internet those days. Also this was June 29, 2005 and Shammi wasn't  active in movies anymore so I find it hard to believe that he needed an assistant to respond to his emails etc. Besides, if you read the mail below and have seen some of the Shammi Kapoor Unplugged segments, his style and manner of communicating seems to match. Anyway, his reply was simple and brief:
Dear Talabgaar,
Thank you for writing to me. I am glad you liked my web site. I am an hobbyist on the computer and as I did all this myself, I feel mighty proud about it. I shall soon update the site as and when my family folks send me the required data. 
My very best wishes to you and the family. 
Love 
Shammi Kapoor 
So there it is. A little piece of memorabilia from Shammi Kapoor. Remembered on Shashi Kapoor's birthday!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Kya Likhoon...?

I haven't blogged in over 2 years. Perhaps for reasons that poet Harivansh Rai Bachchan describes best:

जीवन की आपाधापी में कब वक़्त मिला
कुछ देर कहीं पर बैठ कभी यह सोच सकूँ
जो किया, कहा, माना उसमें क्या बुरा भला।


Or may be I am just looking for an excuse to quote the above verse. Because I am just so taken by the word "आपाधापी" that Dr. Bachchan probably coined...? I don't know if the word existed prior to the poem? But again, I am no Hindi expert so please feel free to chime in if you know more about it. Here's one of the links where you can read the full poem, by the way.


The truth is, I just didn't feel compelled to write. When I think of the word "compelled", I am reminded of the exhortations of Father Merrin and Father Karras from The Exorcist -- remember the line, "The Power of Christ compels you!", which they repeat over and over and which brings the levitating Regan back to her bed? That's the kind of power and force that I am talking about.


The truth also is, I was kinda lost on what to write. Two things occurred that brought me back to Blogger. One was that I attended a book club meeting with a group of local friends. And you know, as Saul Bellow has said, "A writer is a reader moved to emulation".


The second was that I chanced upon a blog post titled What Should I Write About. Now I am not writing this blog with any type of end objective in mind, but it makes sense to not jump all over the place right? I am happy that you, the unknown reader, is paying me a visit, and I would like to see you coming back for sure. 


So I followed the advice in the above post, and jotted down a few topics that interest me the most. I am sure that this list may get revised as I give it some deeper thought, but for now, my top-3 items seem to be:

  1. Singing/ Music/ Karaoke;
  2. Films and film-making;
  3. People and cultures.    
Thankfully, I don't think they are too unrelated. Or, to put it differently, they are all about "Life" and "Entertainment" as some newspaper sections may categorize them. So hopefully there will be some unity in the posts on this blog after all. I have blogged mostly in English, with blog titles in Hindi, and with occasional Marathi thrown in when I couldn't express it any other way. That's the sum total of the languages I know anyway. 

Finally, here's a link to the song that forms the title of this blog post, Kya Likhoon. Thanks for reading, and see you again soon? 



Sunday, February 21, 2010

Maalran...

Hair, A Journey Through the Years: The Glory of Having Them and the Agony of Losing Them:-)
Switching briefly to the mother-tongue for this post. My apologies to non-Marathi readers, but this is my first attempt at poetry, and I am not sure if it could translate well into English.

माळरान
आली चाळीशी म्हणोनी,
काय नसावे रसिक?
मना अधिकच मोहे
आता मोहिका समीप!

पहा पहा सभोवरी
चलपहल चंचल,
त्वरी अनावधाने हात,
उठे झाकण्या टक्कल!


हाय होते जेंव्हा साद्ध्य
माने झुलफे रुळावी,
गृही दंडक वचक,
केसां कातर जुळावी!

मागे पाहता वळोनी
कळे अल्पची सारे न्यारे,
व्यर्थ गुलाबी तंद्रीत,
केले चपट, कानी वारे!

अंमळ उशीरा अक्कल
तरी लाविली शक्कल,
जटा दाहिने वळविली,
तर बाजू डावी ओसाडली!

माथी पुंजके पुंजके
हवे कुंतल सघन,
जाणे तलबगार आता,
येणे पुरते माळरान!

-- © तलबगार

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Tumse Mil Ke...

A Story about being Starstruck on Amitabh Bachchan's 60th Birthday
It was the morning of October 11, 2002. I was on an impulse trip to Bombay, having driven from Pune the previous night. Staying with my in-laws in the suburb of Andheri, I had woken up at 4:30 that morning, pleasantly surprising my IAF Officer father-in-law, who always hoped that I would rise early every day, and go for a good brisk jaunt of a mile or so…or perhaps, ten. His hopes seemed to quickly fade away however, when I showered and shaved, dressed up and left mumbling something about an early morning meeting.

A quick rickshaw ride later, I was in Juhu at the address where all roads in Bombay seemed to lead that morning. I wasn’t quite at the address, but rather across the road from it, since the mythical fortress wasn’t quite open to anyone who wished to be there; otherwise, millions, if not billions, would want to be there that morning. This was Prateeksha, the famous abode of Big B, who was turning 60 that day. The 4-hour drive from Pune and the day off from work were small sacrifices to make on this day for the man who had entertained me for the past 3-plus decades of my life. I had to pay my obeisance.

A small crowd had already gathered on the sidewalk across from Prateeksha, and some people in the group were putting up banners proclaiming that Amitabh was the God of Kaliyug. Dressed in bright white kurta pyjamas, these were members of the Amitabh Bachchan Fans’ Association from Kolkata. I offered to help put up the banners, and struck up a conversation. They had been making this pilgrimage every year on October 11th for at least 10 years I learned, and they had even built a temple for the Big B in Kolkata. I was impressed. They were going to start performing an Amitabh Aarti in a few minutes. And all these years, I had thought that I was a crazed fan of Amitabh! Among the crowd that was growing by the minute, were people who had come from Nashik, U.P, Bangalore and from all over India – there were some who had been doing this for 25 years! Everyone had stories to tell about their encounters with the star – he had always acknowledged them, was exceedingly humble, and was grateful for their love and adoration – during the slump in his career in the early 90’s, one fan mentioned of being invited for a morning tea when Amitabh spotted him outside. Others were less lucky, but there was always the friendly hello, a nod, or a handshake and the recipients of those gestures seemed content with that and returned every year for a glimpse of their favorite hero yet again. How I envied them!

And then I met the person who was to be my chief Amitabh strategist for the day, quite accidentally. He was one of the persons I was chatting up, and we struck a cord. I told him of my desperation for catching just one glimpse of the star, and he seemed to relate to my mania just fine – he had been there, done that. In fact, he had been a visitor to this very corner of the side walk across from Prateeksha for 15 years. He was no doubt a crazed fan like me, but he was a thinking fan as well. Fifteen years of standing on the sidewalk among a frenzied mob had taught him that his odds of getting anywhere close to the star were next to nil if he didn’t have a strategy. He had tried different approaches, and for the past few years, he had zeroed in on one and honed it to perfection, he told me. Amitabh would be driving back from his trip to Tirupati he told me, and pointed to where he thought Amitabh’s vehicle would be coming from. He showed me how the big brown gates to Prateeksha would open, how the mob would go into a frenzy, and the policemen would try to push everyone back frantically. The gates would then close again, and there would be a period of calm. The gates would open again, and this time the Big B himself would walk out from here, he pointed, and go that way and stand and wave for these many minutes, and then he would go back another way and the gates would be closed for good for that darshan. If we didn’t act quickly and weren’t positioned close enough, we would lose our chance to get anywhere near the star. I had no intention of letting that happen, so I decided to stick with my guide and not to let him out of my sight. We were a band of brothers that day.

It must have been around 9 AM. My friend and I had now moved from the coveted sidewalk across Prateeksha and were now on the sidewalk on the same side of the Bachchan house, just outside the police cordon. There were very few fans there as my friend had assured me there would be -- that’s because no one quite expected the star to come that way. But he did. He was at the wheels of a large Mitsubishi Pajero SUV with Amar Singh at his side, and he waved in our direction as soon as we made eye contact. That alone was well worth my trip that day, but I followed my strategist. The mob now suddenly surged towards the gates as soon as people saw the SUV turn, and the policemen sprang forth with their batons, pushing back in large numbers in what seemed to be a losing battle. The SUV went in, the gates closed; the fans went back to positions outside the cordon directly in front of the gate. But not us. We were on one side of the cordon, perhaps as far from the gate as everyone else but if my friend was right, in the best spot to gain access to the star.
There was a sudden calm after the gates closed. Precious minutes went by, and then it happened. The gates were flung open, the policemen went to work at points on the semi-circle where the crowd was the densest, and our side of the cordon was least manned. There was Abhishek standing quietly on one side of the driveway inside the gates, watching intently – he wasn’t quite the star yet that year, and besides, this day was meant for his father. The Big B smiled, waved, and started taking long strides to come out of the gate to greet his fans – I had one hand firmly on the shoulder of my friend who was headed directly towards Bachchan, and with the other hand I raised my camera and was clicking away without having any way of knowing what I was capturing. We were directly in front of the star now; he glanced and smiled at my friend with a look of recognition in his eyes, and spoke in his famous voice “Aaj bahut gadbad hai bhai, aaj fursat se nahi mil payenge”; and then, he extended his hands to me and I clutched them and shook them for what must have been only a couple of seconds. The crowds thronged and pushed, the policemen pushed back frantically and with full force, there was a huge commotion all around, but I swear I could hear nothing – my friend and I were walking away in a daze in a direction opposite to the crowd where no one else seemed interested in going. After all, Don ka intezaar to gyarah mulkon ki public kar rahi hai, but we now had a story to tell for the rest of our lives…
[This article first appeared on PassionForCinema]

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Papa Kehte Hain...

“A parent’s love for her children is unconditional,” says Jodie Foster in a recent interview, “I don’t think the reverse is true...".

The word unconditional has intrigued me since the time I read What to Expect When You're Expecting -- the bible for first-time Dads-to-be (and Mom's-to-be too, I am sure), at least in the U.S. -- and the weight and beauty of that word has stayed with me ever since. "What do you like best about being a new Dad?", asked a friend some years later while expecting his own first-born and I replied, "Knowing that your child loves you unconditionally", borrowing from the book.

I have experienced that love first-hand and although my kids are older now -- only elementary-age, thankfully -- and our conditionality(?) with each other seems to be on the rise (homework, clean-up, Wii, pets and more), I am sure that I still see evidence that I might be needed without conditions. So does that change? Or should the question be, "when" does that change...?

I have been very close to my own Dad as far back as I can remember, but things had changed somewhere along the way. Hurt and anguish dominated my feelings more than the deep love that I had always felt for him. I found myself wanting to differentiate from him -- his work philosophy and ethics seemed different than mine, our temperaments seemed polar opposites, he seemed to have favorites among his children and I felt I wasn't one -- little things like that, which seemed to be adding up. The sentiments expressed in The Living Years by Mike And The Mechanics seemed to ring true with my own feelings. I had returned home driven by nostalgia and the desire to have my own children grow up with their grandparents, but the charm started to wear off and I was soon and again, a fish out of water.

I recently made a trip to India after some years, and I was surprised by the effect it had on me. My Dad was the same person I had known for decades except for the few added wrinkles; still working hard, still being a rock of support for his family & friends, and -- it dawned on me -- still loving his children unconditionally. The change, if any, was in my own perceptions and expectations from him over the years. I was still being demanding of him, judging him, expecting to be treated like I was more entitled than others for his love, and suggesting essentially that a life full of giving was not enough to make me happy. My trip helped me to make peace with my own resentments and grudges; there is no longer a doubt in my mind that my Dad deserves to lead his life by his own values, bond with each of his children differently, and really live his life as he wishes to without being questioned, critiqued or judged by his children anymore. My trip helped me to go back, perhaps for the first true time after my adolescence, to loving my Dad unconditionally!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Aaiye Meherbaan...

I am completely new to blogging and have been wanting to start a blog of my own for a while. As they say, the best way to start anything is to do just that -- get started as quickly as you can. So here I am. I deliberated on what I can write about that is not already being written about, but that would probably eliminate almost anything that I could cover. So, this is an attempt to write about things that I am passionate about, and perhaps a combination of those things would differentiate this blog. But, enough said already; I'll just get started!

My inspiration for the name of this blog is indeed the song from Saudagar (the 1970's Amitabh movie) written by Ravindra Jain. I love the song "Har haseen cheez ka main talabgaar hoon...", and I could identify with the sentiment it expresses: "...ras ka, phoolon ka, geeton ka, beemar hoon". I found that the song resonates well with my own temperament, my interests and passions. This could be a Piscean anthem almost. But anyway, I tried looking up the meaning of Talabgaar (spelled sometimes as Talabgar, but I decided to stick to the song version) in various Urdu-English dictionaries on the web. In the context of this song, I understood that Talab could variously mean: Desire, Need, Search; and a Talbgaar then is someone who is needy; someone who has a deep desire or longing; someone who is constantly in an internal state of disquiet and is searching. Searching for what? We'll leave that for each Talabgaar to decide for themselves.

I do not have a concrete plan for this blog but I am sure that as an avid film- and music-lover who grew up in India in the 70's, my topics will be dominated by Hindi cinema, music, and film-personalities who influenced my generation. Another word of caution: I am a true-blue Piscean and fit the description of my kind provided by Linda Goodman and others to a T. I am a hopeless romantic, and do tend to look at the world through rose-tinted glasses, borrowing from the words of Goodman and others. I am fascinated by the ideals of righteousness and humanism, which I believe are facets of romanticism anyway. I know that the world is far from perfect, but I like to bat for hope, optimism, and positivism. If my musings seem unrealistic, impractical, or downright dreamy sometime, I hope that you will rid your mind of such thoughts immediately and let them "sleep with the fishes":-)

Here's welcoming fellow Talabgaars again, and I do hope that you will take the time to post your own comments, criticism, and suggestions to my posts in abundance.